


Never Doing That Again??

by matrixrefugee



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-18 06:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 10,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matrixrefugee/pseuds/matrixrefugee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack swore it was never happening again... but there it is... (6/25/14: New Chapter Seventeen; general fic overhaul in progress; keep watching this space)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "What to Look Forward To..."

**Author's Note:**

> Set in a possible AU of the life of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones, in which a blessed event happens to the pair. I wrote this as a series of comment fics, so there may be continuity hiccups from chapter to chapter. Heads up for a lot of odd stuff including but not limited to: discussions of alien anatomy, male pregnancy, discussion of a past miscarriage, fleeting discussions of abortion, characters with confused but not hostile attitudes toward people with alien anatomy (they're 20th/21st century folks presented with a very out of the ordinary situation, they're trying to get their heads around it).
> 
> Author's Note: Written for comment_fic Any, any +/ any, What to Expect When You're Expecting Featuring a very young Jack Harkness, as a kid living on the Boeshane Peninsula.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for comment_fic Any, any +/ any, What to Expect When You're Expecting Prequel to "Never Doing That Again", featuring a very young Jack Harkness, as a kid living on the Boeshane Peninsula.

The hot summer days, as the planet came closer to its one large sun, not a good time for those with child, female or Tiresiean or otherwise defined. The fishing crew stayed close to the shores to make sure they could back onto solid ground quickly, in case Gren went into labor: the problem with Tiresieans, they had pelvic openings too narrow to pass the child in the usual fashion. Franklin kept a close eye on Gren: he had gone through the same thing with young Jax and he knew what to expect. And the kid needed to learn first hand what it would entail; he had seen his little brother Grey come into the world, but things went differently for Tiresieans, and he had inherited his father's genetics.

On an especially hot day, they had gone back to shore to get into the shade of the dryland baobabs; they had barely crossed the shingle into the shade, when Gren let out a yawp of pain and doubled over, clutching at his gravid belly.

"You all right there?" Jairin, Gren's lover and secondary father of his unborn child asked, coming to Gren's side, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Contractions, don't think it's one of those little twinge ones," Gren grunted through clenched teeth.

"Get him into the shade," Franklin ordered. Then looking toward the cluster of youngsters that trailed the crowd, he called out. "Jax! Get my medkit from the boat and get over into the shade of the biggest tree. Now!"

Jax, playfully wrassling another boy his age, looked up, then ran for the boat. He disappeared behind one of the gunwales before popping back up and scurrying up the shore to join the others. Jairin helped Gren into the shade, taking off his own tunic and spreading it out on the scrub grass before helping his lover to lay down on it.

"What's going on?" Jax asked, coming to his father's side as Franklin knelt beside Gren.

"Gren's having the kid now," Franklin said, raising the folds of Gren's tunic.

"Can't we carry him back to the communal?" Jax asked, handing over the medkit.

"No, Jax, he's having the kid *now*," Franklin said, darting a Look at his son as, by touch, he opened the pack and took out a sealed steriwipe, unsealing it and swabbing a horizontal strip on Gren's lower belly. "No time to carry him that far: the baby will get stuck and it could kill the both of them."

"Okay, give you some space," Jax said, starting to step away.

"Nope, you're staying here, son," Franklin said. "Time you learned how it goes, being Tiresiean and having a kid, just in case you ever get this way yourself, or you get another Tiresiean this way."

"Best fertility inhibitor ever: seeing where the kid comes from," one of the other men among the fishers teased. The rest of the crowd chuckled nervously, but Jairin ignored them, kneeling down behind Gren's head, holding it on his knees. Two of the crowd came to hold Gren's arms as Franklin applied an anesthiwipe to the same spot he had just sterilized. He reached into the kit again, then took out a steriblade, unsealed it, then set to work, cutting through the skin. Gren gasped, skin rippling under Franklin's hand; Franklin paused, waiting till the contraction passed, then set to work cutting into the layer of muscles underneath, then the membrane under that. He uncovered the uterus beneath it, carefully cutting into it. Gren moaned, nervous, but Jairin murmured softly, reassuring, leaning down to kiss the patient's forehead. Jax leaned in as well, getting a better look.

Then Franklin reached into the incision, drawing out something still sealed within a clear membrane, breaking it open, then drawing something out. Something that twitched in his hands, unfolding small limbs -- tiny arms and legs and a head, a face, eyes squinched up and mouth opening in a reedy yowl. "Jax, the softwipes and steriblanket in my kit," Franklin said. "Hold out the blanket."

"I'm on it," Jax said, unsealing the pack and unfolding the blanket to hold it out as his father had asked.

"What is it? A boy? A girl?" Jairin asked. "A Tiresiean?"

"A girl: a loud, healthy girl," Franklin said with a smile, placing the infant in the blanket. Jax felt the soft, gentle weight of the child, gazed down at the little creature as his father set to work gently wiping the infant down, rubbing the gummy stuff that covered her skin into that skin before tying off the umbilicus that still connected her to her primary parent.

"Thank the elements," Jairin sighed, relieved.

"A girl you can fuss over and I can teach how to fish," Gren said, smiling up at Jairin, tears in eyes, but tears of delight.

"A girl Jax can flirt with when she's grown," Mindge, one of the women, joked. Several men tisked and some of the other women groaned.

"Nah, I've seen too much of her, but not *that* kind of *that*," Jax said, as Franklin cut the cord, gave Gren a patch to help pass the afterbirth, then took a sterisealer out of the pack and set to work closing the incisions.

"You saw what it takes to get the bun out of the oven," Mindge said, serious, understanding.

"That'd be it," Jax agreed, wryly, hoping he never got that way himself.


	2. "Very Well-Equipped "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, The Anatomy Lesson](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/21227.html?thread=1031147&format=light#cmt1031147) Going by my personal headcanon (by way of that infamous throw-away line about pregnancy in the pilot episode) that Jack is a male-bodied hermaphrodite. Warning and rating for alien anatomy

He knew Jack was (technically) an alien or an alien form of human, knew it from reading the man's files, but none of that information could have prepared Ianto for the first time they lay together as lovers. Given Jack's level of confidence, Ianto suspected his shaft would be of an appreciable size and girth, enough that the man wasn't overcompensating for anything. But he wasn't expecting what else he found between the man's nicely muscled legs. Or rather, further back, between the man's balls and his bunghole.

Ianto reared back, nearly falling off the bed as he stared down at the slit-like opening that should not be there. Or which he didn't think should be there, on a male. An Earthly male.

"Hey, lover-boy, what's that look for? It's not going to swallow you or bite off your assets," Jack said, teasing but reassuringly.

"You've got a slot," Ianto said, not sure what else to say besides the glaringly obvious.

Jack propped himself up on one elbow, reaching to Ianto's face to touch it, but Ianto pulled away, immediately regretting this. He had no right to react like this, after the way people in his neighborhood had treated him, like a freak of nature. "I told you I'm full of surprises and secrets," Jack said, no trace of judgement for this reaction.

"So... how did ...that come there, if I might ask?" Ianto asked, reaching out to run a fingertip over the opening. Jack sighed in response.

"I was born with it: people in my time, we don't fit into those neat little categories folk of this time try sticking to other people like bills on a wall," Jack said. "Couple dozen centuries back, a sub-sector of the human race was engineered to populate generational ships, keep the numbers up. Called 'em breeders, since they could fertilize or be fertilized. Quirk still pops up every so often in my time. I got it from my dad."

"Does this mean... you can get pregnant?" Ianto asked, trying not to sound hopeful. He and Lisa had talked about having kids someday, but then came the attack on Torchwood One and the partial cyberization, to say nothing of Lisa's death.

"Sorry, but don't start picking out the layette: I had the inner plumbing removed. Last time I got pregnant was no picnic, decided I wasn't doing that again," Jack replied.

"I'm sorry... that it didn't go well, I mean," Ianto fumbled.

Jack lay back on the pillows. "Don't be: it's in the past; nothing that can be mended, or that I'd want to mend," he says. "So, we going to keep up the dance, or shall we sit this one out?"

Ianto looked down at him, awkward, not wanting to refuse Jack, but not sure he could get the mood back after an unexpected anatomy lesson. "If... you're up for it," he fumbled.

Jack sat up. "How 'bout I lead?" he asked, taking Ianto's hands in his.

"That would help, thank you," Ianto managed.


	3. This Again??"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/profile)[**comment_fic**](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/)'s [Torchwood, Jack, I’m NOT pregnant!](http://community.livejournal.com/comment_fic/233130.html?thread=48035498#t48035498). WARNING: Brief mentions of abortion.

"I'm *NOT* pregnant!" Jack insisted, staring at the screen of the bio-scanner.

After Gwen's bizarre wedding day, Owen was not taking any chances with something like that happening ever again: any time a member of the team was scratched, bitten or even nicked by an alien during a mission, they underwent a scan. Even Jack, despite the fact that he tended to heal from any injuries within a few minutes or at most a few hours. But their leader had been more grumpy than usual for the past couple of weeks.

"Hate to disappoint you, Jack, but it looks like yer three weeks along," Owen said, looking from the screen to Jack and back. "There something you need to tell us, perhaps how *that* is even possible?"

"I've been through this once before: the father wanted no part of it, so I had certain bits of duct work removed so this wouldn't happen again," Jack replied.

"Well, congratulations: it would seem the duct work grew back," Owen said.

Tosh and Gwen exchanged surprised glances; Ianto, on the other hand, seemed especially bent on descaling the coffee maker, though he'd done that the day before. But as the two women looked back to their team leader and their medical officer, Tosh asked the question that had passed through their minds. "So you mean that you're some sort of hermaphrodite?" Tosh asked.

Jack rubbed his forehead tiredly and stared again at the screen as if somehow, if he looked at the red speck in his green silhouette enough times, it would fade away. "Let's say it's a genetic quirk that turns up in my family from time to time," he said. "I guess being able to come back from anything, means any parts you've had removed can grow back."

"Could be some kind of flesh memory triggered by whatever it is that keeps bringin' you back," Owen said with a shrug. "Aren't you smart enough to use a rubber or be on the Pill?"

"For the same reason I thought the duct work wasn't there any more," Jack replied patiently. "I'm immune to any STDs so using a rubber is redundant, long as I shower."

"Well, there's always the laser scalpel if you want that matter taken care of," Owen said.

"Not till I talk this over with the father: his DNA is in there, too," Jack said.

Ianto bent his head a little further over the coffee maker, as if he were trying to hide his mortified face inside the pot.


	4. "New Life to Live"

"We don't have to go through with this, if you don't want to," Ianto said, as they lay together in Ianto's bed.

"I don't know: started thinkin' about this," Jack admitted, covering Ianto's hand with his.

"Thinking about it?" Ianto asked, clasping Jack's hand gently.

"I've had one family before, and I've had to keep a certain bit of distance from my daughter; have to pretend I'm her brother and her son's grandfather, so the poor kid doesn't start Asking Questions," Jack said. "But this is different: this is your son, and I know your mum wants a grandson."

Ianto pulled his hand away and sat up. "You don't mean to say you want to keep the child on my account."

Jack sat up beside him, looking him in the eye. "Being with you has been the closest thing to having a home and a partner right now: I don't want to set that aside or throw it away or take it away from you."

"You're really sure it's mine?" Ianto asked: the question was natural, but even still, felt strange considering what manner of human it was applied to. There was no judgment in it, just a simple request for clarification.

Jack nodded, smiling. "I haven't let another man come in to me in a while, so that leaves you as the only candidate."

Ianto looked away, into the shadows in the corners of the room. "It's just so sudden: Lisa and I talked about having a family someday." He stopped, leaving unspoken that it was something that he'd no longer thought possible.

Jack must have divined his thought. He reached out and gently took Ianto's hand, gently placing it on his belly. still flat this early in the pregnancy, though his chest didn't look quite as masculine as it usually did. "Looks like you got a second chance."

Ianto let his hand rest on his lover's body. "We'll have to give up the late night weevil hunts, and you'll have to give up the field work," he noted. "But how are we going to raise the child, once it's born."

"We've got nine months to figure everything out," Jack said.

"What are we going to tell my sister? She...suspects something's up, that I've found someone."

"Just tell her that you and your feller found a surrogate to carry a child for us. The greatcoat'll hide any tell-tale bumps for a few months. But Owen's probably gonna put me on bed rest soon."

"Probably as revenge for all the times you've throttled him," Ianto noted, dryly.

"That's the one thing I hated the most about it, that first time, that and getting kicked in the ribs at three in the morning," Jack said, rolling his eyes.

"As well as abstaining from liquor."

"That was a plus, oddly enough: my sense of smell went through the roof during that time, and I couldn't stand the scent."

Ianto snerked at this, then quickly grew serious. "We have a lot to prepare for."

Jack laid back on the pillows, gently pulling Ianto down beside him. "Come on, let's sleep on it, love: we don't have to figure everything out tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for Any, any, "How did he manage to get pregnant again?" Implied Jack/Ianto. Also contains naughty plants. I don't even know...

Ianto was at work spritzing the leaves of the Rigellian Passionflowers (called so because they resembled earthly passionflowers, only bigger and friendlier), when he heard someone knock on the door to the greenhouse.

"It's open," he called; he couldn't turn to have a look, in case the tendrils on the Violets decided to tickle him. Or do more.

Owen entered, keeping an leery eye on the plants: he might be the one to formulate the plant food for them, but he wasn't about to get close to them. "Tending the poseys?"

"I know how to handle them: if you keep your distance, they keep theirs," Ianto said, not taking his eyes off the plants.

"Seems like you know how to handle other things around here, an' you been doin' that a little too well," Owen said, his lab coat rustling as if he'd folded his arms on his chest.

"What are you talking about?" Ianto asked, trying not to sound defensive or embarrassed.

"I'm talking about Jack's little condition: last I knew, you were his main squeeze. Never heard of using a thing called a rubber?" Owen asked.

"Jack didn't think it was necessary," Ianto replied. "He said he'd had surgery..."

"All right, I'll bite: so how did he manage to get pregnant again?"

"Again?" Ianto asked, looking at Owen, and forgetting to keep an eye on the plants. "What do you mean 'again'?"

"You've not read the files in the archives? Happened before, back in the 1880s: Alice Guppy and her lot found out how well-equipped our noble leader is, so they brought in the first bloke they could find who liked 'em handsome for an 'empirical test'."

"How do you know all this? Those documents were sealed with a biometric seal..."

"Tosh found a way to unseal 'em," Owen replied. "Jack never told you about this?"

"No, I don't ask him much about... things, unless he volunteers the information," Ianto replied, trying to keep his tone even.

He felt something tickle the cuff of his pant leg, and before he could pull away, something yanked him off his feet, as it sent another tendril under the waist of his trousers. Owen dodged another tendril that had started to reach for him and grabbed a pair of hedge clippers, snapping them at the foliage.

The door to the hallway banged open and Jack, wearing a dust mask, entered armed with a Flit-type plant sprayer. "Hold your breath, boys, I got you covered!" he yelled, somewhat muffled, and he aimed the sprayer at the tendrils, giving them a few sharp blasts. The tendrils jerked, then relaxed, releasing the two startled men.

"Oi! No usin' chemicals in your condition," Owen yelled.

"We had that under control," Ianto fumbled, brushing the now inert foliage away.

"Looked like those vines were about to get up close and personal," Jack said, removing the mask. "And what, if you don't mind my asking, was so important that you couldn't keep your eyes on the vines?"

"History," Ianto said, darting a "We need to talk. Later." look at Jack.


	6. "A Little Clarification Please?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, "What do you mean you're up the duff... AGAIN?"

"You knew I was pregnant: you were there when Owen scanned me," Jack said, patiently from his prone position on the couch in Ianto's apartment.

"I'm just curious as to how you're up the duff *again*," Ianto said, making it clear he wanted to know what was up, brooking no refusals or dancing around the facts.

Jack sighed, looking away. "That was a long time ago and it'd dredge up things I really don't want to think about," he replied. "I've got the baby to think of."

"You haven't been using your condition as an excuse before," Ianto said. "I've seen the files in the archives. It's your side I want to hear."

Jack grumbled under his breath and kneaded his brow with one hand. "I'd just been strong-armed into joining Torchwood: I was on meds that shut down my fertility cycle entirely. No chance of me leaving any little Jacks scattered around the universe or carrying one," he said. "Alice Guppy took away my pillbox when her lot found me, so after a few weeks, I started having monthly cycles again. Her medic found some of the rags I'd used to deal with the flow, and so they gave me the once-over to make sure I wasn't injured. Couldn't risk losing their asset to a wound they couldn't account for. That's when they found how intricate my equipment is: at least it made 'em get off my back about my dance partners.

"So, they found the first guy who preferred the stern sex, a member of the House of Lords who hadn't fathered an heir yet. His nearest male relative who fit the line of succession was an American and the last thing they wanted was to entail his estate to a foreigner. So, they had me bed down with him till I missed a cycle and they kept me hidden in his manor for the next nine months. Wasn't so bad: Miss Guppy tried sticking me in maternity clothes, and while I'm not above wearing a dress when it suits me, I'll wear it on my own call. At least His Excellency wouldn't hear of it: told 'em to lay off me and keep their hands off my 'manly dignity'."

"As if you ever had any of that," Ianto muttered, smiling a bit.

"And you love me for it," Jack teased. Growing serious again, he continued the tale, "Got presented to Queen Victoria. She was pleased that Torchwood was doing its job and she was certainly intrigued, and rather relieved that 'the unnatural had proved natural', but she was not amused to find that 'a man has usurped women's God-given task'."

"Victorian bigotry," Ianto said.

"Like this age is any less narrow-minded," Jack twitted. "You and your squeamishness toward the friendly cephalopod."

Ianto ignored this jab. "So then what happened?" He knew what happened, from reading the file, but he needed to hear it from Jack.

"Nine months passed, I went into labor, but there was a catch: narrow birth canal. Baby couldn't fit through, and while the medic could patch up people, they didn't know a lick of how to perform a caesarian section." He paused, drawing a breath, then continued. "I bled out. They started cutting me open to see what went wrong, found the baby had died."

He said nothing after that. Ianto had nothing to say to this for a long moment, then he reached out and put a comforting hand on Jack's thigh. Jack gave him a brave smile and covered Ianto's hand with his. "I'm sorry," Ianto said, not sure what else to say.

"Happened in the past: I got better. Found a female doctor in London who fixed it so it'd never happen again," Jack said. "Guess it grew back, over the years."

"If it brings back too many bad memories, we don't have to go on with this," Ianto fumbled.

Jack shook his head, smiling on him, then taking his lover's hand and guiding it to rest on his slightly swollen belly. "It's your baby, too: I'd go through it again for you. Not sure I care to stay on bed rest for the next several months, but if you're there with me, it won't be so dull."


	7. "Failed Failsafe"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, contraceptives in the rain. Deals with mpreg and alien anatomy

"So if you could get pregnant, how come you haven't ...taken any...preventative measures before?" Ianto asked, delicately. It wasn't the kind of question he'd ever thought he'd find himself asking of his partner, particularly a male one, and particularly Jack. His superior projected such an air of masculinity of the 1940s film star variety that it seemed to clash with the current matter at hand.

They had never used any prophylactica, not in any of their engagements, whether Ianto had been on the top of the bottom: both of them were clean and disease-free (Jack claimed to be unable to contract any illness, least of all something sexually transmitted. Ianto had been more concerned about catching some alien condition than he was about this sort of thing happening).

Jack turned from the mirror, buttoning his shirt over his burgeoning middle, still small enough to hide it under his greatcoat, but harder to hide than a few months ago when they had both found out. "Thought I could get by, considering the way you lot here practically seeded the clouds with oestrogen," Jack replied.

"I don't follow..."

"Contraceptives in the water supply: women take the Pill, flush it away. Tricky thing for standard filters in 21st century water treatment facilities to get out," Jack replied.

"So you figured just drinking the tap water would be enough to keep you from getting knocked-up?" Ianto said, trying to refrain from criticism.

"My lot's a good deal more sensitive to oestrogen than yours: Doesn't take as powerful a dose to prevent an unexpected pregnancy," he said, looking down at himself. "Besides, I'd had the plumbing removed at one point, to prevent this sort of thing from happening again."

"Again?"

"Used to be on drugs that rendered me temporarily sterile, till I got nabbed by a bunch who took my pillbox away from me; next thing I know, my uterus started working again. My captors found out, sent a guy to bed me, got me pregnant. Not my idea: tried to miscarry, but they kept me tied down, to keep me from doing that again. Nine months later, I went into labor; died in the middle of it: I was bleeding too much. I came back, but the baby didn't make it."

Ianto had nothing to say to this: he could barely imagine how much that could hurt. He thought of losing Lisa, trying to save her, then losing her again, but that was not the same, not like losing a child one wasn't certain of having to begin with.

He found his voice again, after a moment's thought. "We don't have to keep this, we don't have to continue...this way." Even as he said this, felt a twinge: the times Lisa and he had talked of having a family of their own.

Jack shook his head and turned from the mirror to perch himself on the bed. "No. I can't do that to you: you've lost enough because of me."

"I wouldn't want to put you through that again," Ianto said.

"It's your baby, too, Ianto," Jack said, looking him in the eye.

"What about... childbirth?" Ianto asked, concerned.

Jack smirked. "Different time and place: there's surgery to make it easier, and I know Owen would get a jag out of cutting me open while the upper half of me is wide-awake."

"What about afterward, taking care of the child?" Ianto fumbled.

"We'll work that out: we've still got time to work it all out. Not like the kid's going to pop out of me tomorrow," Jack replied. "Come on, get dressed: we've got work to do."


	8. "Sympathy Pains"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for any, any, the last thing s/he needs. Involves a strange phenomenon known as couvade syndrome.

Most mornings these days, Jack awakened feeling royally nauseous, but somehow, his strong constitution kept him from actually ending up 'ringing Ralph on the porcelain phone' as the phrase went. The feeling persisted throughout the day, but it rarely had him incapacitated. Well, except for the one time involving that especially nasty scene of a Weevil attack, but that could happen to anybody, and he had a medical excuse.

On the other hand, when Ianto woke up, he tended to bolt out of the bed and run for the washroom, banging the door shut behind him. Jack closed his ears to the retching noises that ensued, but some gleefully sadistic part of him smirked a bit at how well his lover and the father of his unborn child was taking the situation.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was you that's pregnant," Jack said, as Ianto returned, his face and mouth still twitching at the bad taste that likely lingered in his mouth.

"Don't even joke like that," Ianto grumbled, reaching for his shirt and pulling it on. "That's the last thing that I need right now. Or you."

"Better have Owen take a look at you, make sure you didn't catch a stomach bug. I can't risk being exposed in my delicate condition," Jack teased, reaching for his trousers and pulling them on.

"Oh shush, if you're so delicate," Ianto grumbled, not amused.

* * * *

"Well, he's not running a fever," Owen said, after examining Ianto. "Not even a smidge of one."

"So what is it?" Jack asked, concerned. Considering the number of things that came across the Rift, unknown conditions caused by alien microbes (or bigger things) were not out of the question.

"It's couvade syndrome," Owen said, nonchalantly.

"Is it curable?" Ianto asked, his usually calm face visibly worried now.

"Well, he'll get over it when Jack stops being pregnant," Owen said. "It's a psychosomatic condition: happens in some men when their wife is pregnant. Guess it works for whoever's with whatever you are, Jack. Some simply have morning sickness and nausea, some start to get sensitive around the nipples, others even go so far as to start swelling around the middle a bit."

"Can't have that happening: it's bad enough I went up a trouser size, wouldn't do to have the two of us looking like we'd swallowed planetlets," Jack said.

"So what's the cure or the treatment or... whatever I need to make it go away?" Ianto asked.

"Well, being aware of the condition is half the cure, or some cases all of it," Owen said. "I've heard of a folk cure involving a staged mock birth, putting the affected man to bed and having him go through a mock labor with a doll or a bundle of rags through his clothes."

"Ugh, I don't think I need that: the cure sounds worse than the condition," Ianto said, darting a look at Owen.

"Try being the guy who had to go through a real birth," Jack put in.


	9. "Cell Division"

Jack rarely slept more than three hours a night, but since the start of his pregnancy, he had started to sleep longer; perhaps having Ianto close to him at night helped him to feel more at ease in staying put. But even still he tended to wake before his lover, partly from sheer restlessness, partly because of his condition.

He sat up beside Ianto, turning to watch the younger man as he lay sleeping, hair tousled with sleep and with his mouth slightly slack. The father of his unborn child. The father of the second child he had ever carried.

He was at the point where he should be starting to feel the child start to stir within him, but he swore he had been feeling it growing within him all along. Cells dividing, organs developing. A clump of cells unfurling into a new human being, half with his genetic heritage, half with Ianto's. And this time, while it had come as a surprise, he could not be happier to have this happen with the soft-spoken fellow. Of all the hundreds of dancing partners Jack had had over the ages, Ianto was the one he felt the most at home with, and now that they were in the process of making a family, he felt that feeling, of home and contentment, grow within his heart, alongside the child beneath it.

He settled back down on the pillow beside Ianto and he had just started to turn onto his side to lay an arm over his lover and the father of his child, when he felt something turn over in his belly. Someone had just said hello...


	10. "Never Does Fade..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for comment_fic any, any/any, Losing a baby is not a thing that you could ever get used to. ~Erica Eisdorfer, The Wet Nurse's Tale Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones. Contains mpreg past and present.

There were times when Ianto regretted that Tosh had found a way to bypass the biometric lock on Jack's old personnel files. Most of the time, the entries were typical: incident reports, personal logs, whatnot. But his medical files ran from the head tilt-inducing description of scrapes Jack had gotten into and injuries he'd survived, to the heartbreak-causing. And the file relating to Jack's previous "state of gravidity" -- to quote the Victorian-era dossier -- had Ianto turn more quiet than usual.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jack asked, approaching Ianto's desk, his eye on the yellowed file laying on it, the contents of which had Ianto trying not to look up. Particularly since Jack's waistline, considerably wider than it was a month ago, was at eye-level.

"Nothing that you would want to hand money over for," Ianto replied, keeping his gaze on his workstation. "Been reading more of your files: side effect of the spring cleaning I've been doing in the archives."

Jack leaned one hip on the edge of Ianto's desk. "You know it's the one who's actually pregnant who's supposed to go through the nesting phase," he teased. "Or is this another side effect of your little flirtation with couvade syndrome?"

"Hush, I'm over that, now that I know what's going on with me," Ianto said.

"Take it you found something that's got you looking grimmer than usual," Jack asked.

"Yes... the file regarding your ...previous pregnancy," Ianto faltered.

Jack nodded, slowly his own face solemn. "Not exactly light reading: Miss Guppy's report makes it so clinical and tidy, and she handles it so coyly," he admitted. "After all that, I had to put some distance between myself and Torchwood, or at least Alice Guppy's lot, just to clear my head."

"Had you thought of a name for the baby?" Ianto asked.

"Didn't seem healthy, putting a name to a life that ended when it barely got a chance to begin," Jack replied, his pale eyes turning distant. "Also, the kid's father had his own choices of a name, and I was leaving it up to him. And picking name made it all seem more final and set in stone. Not that having or losing a baby is something you get used to. There's a life that depends on you completely, a life that's part of your life. then it's gone and you're left with the what if's and the what could have been's and the never was's."

"What would have happened if the child had lived?" Ianto asked.

"He was the natural son of a member of the House of Lords, no doubt there that he'd've followed in his other father's footsteps, taking his seat in Parliament, making something of himself," Jack mused, his words fading away.

"Heh," he grunted after a moment.

"What?" Ianto asked.

"Nothing, just strange, thinking of what could have been: me, a guy from a back end of beyond colony on a third-rate planet, having a child with a nobleman with a position of some political clout," Jack replied, musing.

"Some would say you were the more extraordinary of the pair," Ianto said.

"And now, I'm having another kid, with my teaboy as the father," Jack said, looking down at himself. "Seems I've come up in the world."

"Now that spoils the moment," Ianto grumbled, darting a Look at Jack.


	11. "Fatherhood-To-Be"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for comment_fic's Any, any, "To become a parent is to choose to forever have your heart walking around outside your body.". Featuring Ianto and his sister Rhiannon, implied Jack/Ianto and veiled references to mpreg

_"Rhi, can we talk face to face? There's something important that I need to tell you,"_ Ianto had said, over the phone. The urgency in his tone had prompted her to meet with him later that very day, in a park where they often met when they needed to talk, a place where they'd been having important talks since they were kids.

"I'm going to be a father," Ianto said, his cheeks turning pink, as they sat across from each other at a picnic table.

Well, that was a surprise: his worried tone had made her wonder if the news was something dire. "Congratulations! So... are you and your feller adoptin'?" she asked.

"No, it's... the child is mine, partly," Ianto replied, hesitating, awkward. Understandable: he'd always been so shy about personal things, it came as no surprise that he'd be falling over his words, trying to tell her about something as big as this.

She reached out and covered her brother's hand, pressing it gently. "No wonder you're blushin'," she said. "Does he know? How's he feel about it?"

"Yes, oh... yes, he knows all about it: he's a bit perplexed, but I suppose anyone would be in this situation," Ianto replied, hesitant, holding something back. She supposed it was none of her business what her brother did with whom, behind closed doors, but she suspected something, she just wasn't sure what.

"Is the mother someone you know?" she asked, dropping her voice to a whisper.

"Yes, he... Jack, he's fine with it: was a bit shocked when he found out, but he's adjusting," Ianto said. "He's had a family, so he's... no stranger to raising children. But I'm... I don't know where to start."

"She's keeping the baby, then?" 

He nodded. "We're taking care of it... him or her, whichever."

"Big job, taking care of a child. But if he's had experience, I'm sure you'll do well. But it's a wonderful thing, seein' a little piece o' yerself runnin' about."

"Is that how it feels, being a parent, having a child?"

She smiled at him, nodding. "For all the trouble that Micha and David give me, I wouldn't give them away, even if someone offered to get 'em off my hands. Not an easy thing to say when they're fightin' or David's soaked his sheets, but when all's said and done, they're m' pride an' joy. They're a bit o' me and Johnny runnin' about, something we made."

Ianto's shoulders looked less tense. She reached out and patted his arm, giving him a reassuring smile. "You'll do fine: you've a good heart and a kind soul. What a child needs most: a father that loves 'em. And if yer man loves you as much as he seems to, you'll make a good family."

"Thanks, Rhi. It means a lot."

"Don't look so glum: you'll be fine. You'll have yer days when your kid will drive you nuts, but they'll do something or say something that makes it all worth the trouble."

Ianto managed to crack a smile of his own, visibly breathing easier. She still noted something in his eyes, as if he had more to say, but she wouldn't press him, not now, not till he was ready to share it.


	12. "Meeting the Family to Be"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for 's prompt "Relatives".

"Do you really feel up to this? In your condition..." Meeting Ianto's sister's family proved more challenging than either expected. Mostly due to Ianto's qualms.

"I'm fine. I've faced down worse than relatives. Can't chew your face off, unlike Weevils."

"But Rhi will ask questions."

"I can pass as a clean-living guy with a bit of a gut. Just relax."

"She knows I'm going to be a father."

"Well, you didn't tell her I'm expecting, did you?"

"No, but... You read pregnant. She'll figure it out."

"Only because you know me well. Stop fussing at me in my delicate condition."


	13. "Rather Obvious Secret"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for [any, any, tell me your secret](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/165794.html?thread=7446434&format=light#cmt7446434) Featuring Ianto/Jack, and Ianto's sister Rhi asking some Very Important Questions. Warning for one ignorant but well-meaning character using an inappropriate slang word.

Once Ianto had introduced them, Rhi might have glanced once at Jack's waistline with a questioning pucker between her brows, but she said nothing. Just then, at least. And during the sit-down, Johnny had offered Jack a beer, which the latter had waved off casually. "Thanks, but my doctor's got me watching the calories," he said, patting his middle. "Trying to do something about this." Ianto had stifled a twitch, but he realized this was the best way for Jack to hide his condition in plain sight.

And then it got dodgy when one of the cousin's kids had eyed Jack and asked, point blank, "Why do you have a baby in your tummy?"

Jack had, of course, laughed it off, but Rhi had pounced on the kidlet. "Don't you be askin' rude, silly questions," she snapped.

She knows, oh holy hell, she knew, Ianto thought, feeling his stomach sinking inside him.

It almost came as a relief to Ianto, when Rhi pulled him aside into the kitchen, insisting that he helped her with the washing up.

"You didn't tell me that it was *him* that's expecting your kid," Rhi said, turning the water on in the sink -- the trap still open -- to cover their conversation. The pained look of confusion on her face made Ianto even more uncomfortable.

"We're not exactly open about this: people wouldn't understand. There might be trouble," Ianto admitted.

Rhi plunked several plates into the sink, making a show of the usual washing up noises, but not taking her eyes from his face, a pained look in her eyes. "You could've told me: I'm you're sister. You can't carry something this big alone."

"You promise not to breathe this to a soul," Ianto said, darting a look to the closed hatch in the kitchen wall.

"Of course I won't tell anyone," she said. Then lowering her voice, she leaned in closer. "So what is he? Is he something like that tranny bloke in the States? The one who was all over the tabloids a few years back, the one who had a baby?"

"Something like that," Ianto said. "Except... Jack... always was like this. Always male. To look at." He found himself falling over his own words: he'd never expected to have this conversation with anyone outside of Torchwood, and even though Rhi was the one to hear it, it felt bizarre.

She blinked, her eyes wide, but she nodded, accepting this. "I think I see. So you mean you two can do what a man and a woman can, when you're... alone?" she asked.

"Part of the time," Ianto admitted, feeling his ears burn with embarrassment. "You're not..."

"Angry?" she asked. "No, not really, except for the fact that you didn't tell me about this sooner."

"But not because he's..."

"Gifted?" she asked, with a sliver of a smile.

"That's one way to put it. Good enough."

She placed a teapot in the sink. "He is what he is: and he's yours. If the two of you are happy together and you're happy to have a family together, no one should interfere with that. Beats hirin' one o' them surrogates and have 'er change her mind and keep the kid. Or adopt and the kid turns out to be abused and has a whole set o' problems.

"Now hand me that skillet: dishes aren't going to wash themselves."

Reliable Rhi, Ianto thought, relieved. Now as long as Johnny did not ask questions, they would stay in the clear. Not that a man that thick would think to ask questions that precise.


	14. "Her Embarassing Dad"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for Any, any, Surro-Gate (American Dad) Featuring Jack Harkness and Alice Sangster. Implied Jack/Ianto.

It had been months since the last time her father had called and while his secrecy and infrequency in contacting her annoyed her, any chance to talk to him was welcome.

_"You're going to have a brother or sister soon; that's why I've been scarce,"_ Jack told her over the phone and from his tone, he sounded excited and nervous at the prospects.

"Congratulations!" she said, smiling, and yet she couldn't help feeling puzzled. She hadn't known that her dad was involved with another woman, but she did know he was involved with a slightly younger man. "So... are you adopting or have you hired a surrogate? Do you want help setting up the nursery?"

She heard him breathe in audibly in a way that meant he had something serious to tell her. _"That's the thing: We aren't adopting and hiring a surrogate isn't exactly my idea... It's my baby._

_"I'm pregnant. That's why I haven't been around in a while."_

She very nearly dropped the phone: with her father, the things he said often seemed either an outrageous lie or an even more outrageous truth. "Dad, you must be under a lot of stress: are you feeling all right?"

_"My doctor's staying on top of me all the time: I'm a bit stressed, but no more than anyone would be in this condition. I'm healthy, so's your little half-brother or sister."_

A pause and then, _"Maybe I'd better come around sometime, during the day, when Stephen is at school. He might get confused..."_ His voice trailed off: there were so many things about him that they had to hide already. And the fact that he wanted Stephen to not know about this meant her father was serious about this.

"All right: any time this week," she said with a sigh.

Two days later, while she was in the middle of making up an order for a client, the front bell rang with the pattern that her father used. On opening the door, she found him there, clad as usual in that World War II period coat he favored, but standing a bit differently, as if he were trying to hide something.

And she wouldn't exactly say that he had that proverbial glow about him, but there was a softness about his face, and his eyes had a quiet happiness in them.

"Dad, you look great," she said, not sure what else to say.

He grinned, but there was a cautiousness about it, unlike him. "Wait till I get in the door and declare my cargo," he said, glancing down at himself. 

"You've kept your sense of humor at least," she said, stepping aside and pulling the door open farther, letting him enter.

Once inside, he stood up straighter and the unfamiliar curve under his coat became more obvious. She blinked, eyeing his waist: it could just be a case of middle age spread, but she knew that he worked out. She had galpals who had kids and she'd been pregnant herself: she knew the difference between a beer gut and gravidity.

"You can touch me if you like: you're one of the few people who won't lose a limb if they touch my belly," he said, playfully.

"I would, if it didn't feel so strange," she admitted. But swallowing her awkwardness, she reached out and laid a hand on Jack's swollen flank.

As she did so, something stirred under her hand and she felt it, the unmistakable feeling of a baby kicking or nudging mom's side with an elbow or a knee.

She pulled her hand away, looking up at him. "How did this happen? You fathered me, but..." her voice trailed away.

"Won't make you queasy with the particulars, but we'll say I'm a very gifted man," he said, with that little smile that suggested there was more than he was willing to let on, but wouldn't, for her sanity's sake.

"So your boyfriend is the father?" she asked.

"Well, the *other* father," he replied. "We'll say I'm the primary father."

"So, do you know what you're having?" she asked.

"Not yet, but I have a feeling you'll have a sister soon," he said. "Been having dreams about a little girl with my eyes and my boyfriend's chin. I don't dream often, so when I do, I take it to mean something."

It was too much for her to handle and she felt herself tearing up. Jack noted this, and a wistful look of something approaching regret came into his pale eyes.

"No, don't look like that: it's your life and your body," she said, raising one hand, trying to make it look like this didn't really bother her. But it did: so much about this man that she didn't know, and he was her own father.

"Doesn't bother you that I'm more than I seem, does it?" he asked.

"Would it make it any different if it did? Nothing seems to faze you, one way or the other," she said.

He grinned but the wistful look did not quite reach his pale eyes. "Well, like that Lady Gaga song says, 'I was born this way'."

She managed a small smile. "Guess that puts your life on the right track for you," she said. "I won't keep you: this must be tiring you."

"Maybe a little: my stamina hasn't been what it usually is. That normal?" And there might be a flicker of concern in his eyes.

"Stephen had me pretty tired, especially the last trimester," she admitted. Such a strange question to ask, but perhaps the strangeness came only from the one asking the question. "I won't keep you: take care of yourself and...maybe someday soon, when Stephen's with his dad, your boyfriend and I can get together."

"Ianto would like that, but be warned: he's a fussy type, completely unlike me," Jack said.

"Opposites attract," she noted.

"But when they do, things happen," Jack said, looking down at himself.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for [ Author's choice, author's choice, baby boom](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/167888.html?thread=7517136#cmt7517136) Implied Gwen/Rhys.

Gwen thought it was just the fact that she had been doubling for Jack as team leader in the field: she had been more tired than usual; and given the kind of messy, gory and just plain gross things they had to handle, that could explain the bouts of nausea and vomiting.

To be on the safe side, she ran the bioscanner, just to see what was bothering her insides.

And to her surprise, in the midst of the blue green shape that indicated her form, she found a small red mass that certainly had not been there a week or two ago. A red mass that she had seen in a fellow team member several months before, one that had seemed utterly out of place on him, but which she had hardly expected to see in herself. At least not now. Not so soon. She had not planned for this: someday, she had said, when she and Rhys were ready, when they felt more settled in their new house, when Jack and Ianto's child had been born. Fate had other ideas, it seemed.

"What's behind all this, something in the water?" Owen asked, looking her up and down. "I'd better be careful not to drink it. Or let Tosh drink it, either."

"We would have to be doing a bit more than seeing each other," Toshiko said, snippily.

Owen ignored her. "Just wonderful, just what we need at a time: now our executive team leader and acting head field agent is up the duff," he said, with a harassed noise. Darting a look to Jack, seated behind his desk, he added, "Do I want to know if you had a part in this?"

Jack looked up from the paperwork he had been filling out. "If I did, Rhys would have my little Captain and his two lieutenants," he said, grumpily. Then looking down at himself and how he had to sit a foot further back from the desk, he added, "And I'd have to be capable of the act for that to happen."

"I don't think he meant *that*," Gwen snarled, looking from Jack to Owen as if she would smack either of them. Or both, but particularly Owen, since she would never strike a pregnant personage as a matter of principle.

"Maybe those pheromones of yours affected Gwen's cycle," Ianto muttered, his ears going pink from embarrassment and his eyes downcast, discomforted.

"Not impossible," Owen said. "Put a near-pubertal female mammal near a mature male of the same species, and the female will grow up faster. Wonder what your pheromones 'll do to any females in your orbit, Jack."

"This is not a matter of mammals or pheromones," Gwen cut in, with an irritated sigh. "And there's no one to blame, least of all Jack." Maybe it was, indirectly: maybe she had quietly envied Jack for this event, this thing that happened between him and Ianto and she had wanted it for her and Rhys.

Jack got up from his desk and hobbled to Gwen's side, putting an arm about her. "At least in a couple of months, one of us won't be a foot deeper in the belt than usual," he said, affectionately. "I'll take up the slack you've been holding for months and take it up double."

"At least the little ones will have a friend?" Toshiko piped up.

Gwen chuckled, the tension finally breaking. "One big family, having a baby boom," she murmured.

"Atta girl," Jack grinned, squeezing her gently before letting her go.


	16. "Changing Space"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [any, any, you and me and Baby makes three!](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/169644.html?thread=7562668#cmt7562668)

Jack awoke that morning to the smell of coffee, mixed with the reek of fresh wallpaper paste. He heaved himself off the bed and hobbled out into the hallway of Ianto's apartment -- which had increasingly become Ianto's and his apartment -- following the aroma.

He found the father of his unborn child clad in painter's coveralls (neatly pressed and with nary a spot on them), perched on a stepladder, smoothing down a freshly applied strip of wallpaper with a distinct, colorful print of jungle trees in soft geometric shapes and smiling lions and elephants.

"Jungle print? I thought we'd settled on the one with the small daisies," Jack said, staring at the walls.

"The samples looked too 1970s flower-power when I hung them up," Ianto replied.

"So you went with the runner up? That your way of commenting on the wild night that resulted in a new little critter?" Jack said, leaning his tailbone against the edge of a dresser draped in painter's drop cloth. "And I thought the nesting phase usually happened to the one actually carrying the kid."

"You could give me a hand by holding the paper on the wall, if you're going to disobey Owen's orders," Ianto retorted, managing a small, embarrassed but pleased smile as he came down off the ladder and came to Jack's side. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, feet are tired just standing and I look like a space whale calf, but I feel fine," Jack replied.

Ianto put out his hand and rested it tenderly on Jack's belly. "Two weeks to go, and then he'll be here," he said.

"Or she, or whatever quaint little term people apply to well-equipped personages," Jack replied. As if to acknowledge Ianto's touch, he felt the baby stir, nudging an elbow or a hand or maybe even a foot against his side.

"All that matters is that our child is healthy," Ianto replied.

"And that your nest is just right for our little egg about to hatch," Jack replied. "Gonna be weird: Won't be just you and me any more; it'll be you, me and our little one."

"Don't tell me you'll be carrying him or her in a baby sling on your back while we're hunting Weevils," Ianto said.

"Probably not, but I am looking forward to taking her to the shooting range when she's ready to start learning to handle a gun," Jack replied.

Ianto blinked. "She? Are you sure we're having a girl?"

"Don't really know, but I'd like to have a daughter: Someone for you to fuss over and dress up, and someone for me to shake my head over."

"Are you casting me as the mother?"

"Nah, you're the father, unless you want to be called Mum," Jack twitted.

"Owen would enjoy that too much," Ianto groaned. "So what are we going to call each other, as parents?"

"Best to let the kid decide: for all we know, she could take one look at me one day and call *me* Mum," Jack said with a shrug.

"Something Owen would definitely find amusing."

"Ahh, let 'im laugh," Jack said. "I won't mind so much after the kid is born."


	17. In the Family Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Written for 's [Author's choice, author's choice, the family way](http://fic-promptly.dreamwidth.org/235675.html?thread=9503131#cmt9503131)

Jack normally slept little, spending his nights tidying Ianto's apartment (which generally veered between looking "Lived in" or "hygienically untidy". But since his confinement -- and in Jack's words, the term fit a little too well -- he had started sleeping more, spending the whole night beside Ianto.

One of these nights, late in the wee hours of the morning, daybreak pinking the strip of sky in the window, Ianto awakened, turning over to gaze on Jack as he lay facing away from Ianto, lying asleep on a stack of pillows tucked under his head and shoulders, with another pillow under his waist, the covers slipped down even on this cool night. The early morning light lit the lower half of his face, down his neck and torso. Ianto had to smirk, though not without a wince of compassion: He had gotten his lover this way, put him in this uncomfortable and awkward state. Neither of them regretted it, though, and for all his grumbling to the contrary, he knew that Jack had embraced this unexpected turn which their lives had taken.

A family. Not the kind of thing that Ianto had expected to come from working in Torchwood Three. And with Jack as the one carrying his child, the mother of that child, in a manner of speaking, though even now, Ianto found himself still trying to fit that into better labels. Best not to overthink it, just to take it as it came, the way he did with everything else about Torchwood.

Jack's face twitched and he drew in a breath, shifting on his pillows. Normally, he would turn over to face Ianto, but in his current condition, this late in the pregnancy, moving had grown into a chore that required a lot of adjusting and huffing before he could get into a comfortable position. Instead, he turned his face away from the window and toward Ianto.

"How are you feeling?" Ianto asked.

Jack snerked under his breath and the skin of his swollen abdomen rippled. "Exhausted and bloated, same's I felt when my head hit the pillows."

Ianto hitched himself higher on his own pillow, trying not to stare at Jack's middle. "You're not... in any pain?"

Jack turned his head on the pillows. "No, not to say that I'm completely comfortable, either. Yer kid just woke up: warm milk must have worn off," he said, tilting his chin toward his belly.

"How does it..." Ianto stopped himself from asking that question.

"You started to say something?" Jack asked.

Ianto drew in a breath. "How does it feel? Having a child moving about inside you."

"I take it the translation is: does it feel as weird as it looks?" Jack asked.

"One way to put it," Ianto admitted.

Jack slid one hand under the covers, finding one of Ianto's hands, then guided it to his swollen flank, easing Ianto's palm onto the underside of his belly. Almost as if in response, Ianto felt something move under Jack's skin, tenting the flesh between them.

"Probably an elbow or her head: kid's turned around inside me, getting ready to try head butting her way out," Jack replied.

"Not that we'd allow that," Ianto said, trying not to think of Owen's talk about the procedure to come, a few days away, the reasons for the necessity of that procedure. "Are you... ready for this?" he asked, he had to know.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Jack said, letting go of Ianto's hand.

"Would you do it again?" Ianto asked, innocently, withdrawing.

Jack turned his head slightly, clearly darting a look at Ianto, even in the darkness. "No. Hell, no," he said, then paused. "Well. Not this time around, at least."

"One and done?" Ianto asked.

"One and done," Jack replied. "If we ever get the idea to give this little one a younger brother, we're hiring a surrogate or adopting."

"No argument there," Ianto said, still gazing at Jack's belly.

"Go on, say it," Jack said, his voice gone teasing. "You like this look on me."

"No, it's... a bit unsettling," Ianto said, but he felt his cheeks grow warm. At least the darkness kept his reaction hidden, so Jack could not tease him.

"You make it sound like a bad thing," Jack teased. "Maybe I'll keep a pillow under my shirt the next few months."

"Now that would look weird," Ianto said, turning over onto his back.

Jack drew in a sharp breath. "Are you all right?" Ianto asked, sitting up, reaching for the bedside lamp.

"I'm good, just one of those Braxton-Hicks contractions," Jack said. "Trust me, I know the difference."

"Thought I'd have to ring Owen, that he'd need to start the procedure now," Ianto said.

"When we need Owen's skills, you'll be the first to know," Jack said, pulling the covers back up around himself.


	18. "Modern Family"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [any, any, the joy of a first child](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/386074.html?thread=65652506#t65652506)

Their first night home -- with 'home' defined as Ianto's apartment -- with their newborn daughter and Jack had pretty much crashed asleep, little Verrity nestled in his arms, also asleep. "Girls look like their fathers," Ianto's mother had always said, and if anything, Verrity looked like the both of them, with Jack's dark hair and strong chin and Ianto's hazel eyes.

Thankfully, she had fallen asleep, after she had fussed all the way home from the Hub, where she had been born: all the better to hide the procedure and no unfamiliar doctors asking questions. No one would call them anything close to a typical family, and so the child would have to be born in seclusion, in a cave beneath the earth, much like the grotto Ianto had seen in the calender pictures of Bethlehem. Owen, wise man and midwife, had enjoyed almost every minute of the operation, to the point that Jack had threatened to get up off the operating table and deck him, if he didn't stop goofing around. Ianto had hovered so close to the operating table that Owen had had to shoo him away. Even Jack had snarled at him to get out of the light, otherwise the procedure would take even longer. Gwen had finally taken Ianto aside and sat him down at her desk, offering to fetch him coffee, but he insisted on getting his own. Even still, she sat with him till they both heard a thin but strong howl rise from the surgical bay.

A two hour procedure and Verrity lay in the arms of the father who bore her, with the father who'd seeded her hovering close by, along with her two nominal aunts looking on.

"She's perfect," Toshiko said, relieved.

"She looks like a hairless Vridectan monkey," Jack twitted, woozy from the anesthetic and the painkillers.

Now the light from the small Christmas tree that Tosh had decorated for them shone on the three of them, nestled on the couch, a strange family by modern standards, but then again, a strange family with an improbable mother had inspired the season. At least Ianto, unlike Joseph of Nazareth, didn't have to wonder where the child had come from; but much like that carpenter so long ago and like any father before and since, he could not help asking himself how they would take care of this new life?

And yet... and yet, he knew he would have the strength and more importantly the love to care for this child. Did any new parent ever feel confident, whether theirs was an ordinary or an extraordinary arrangement? Did they ever feel ready to take on the sweet burden of a child.

Jack stirred in his sleep, opening his eyes. "Hmm... must've dozed off," he murmured. "Kid's still sucking the life out of me and she's on the atmospheric side of my skin."

"Go back to sleep: I'll keep an eye on the both of you," Ianto said. "You've both had a long day."


	19. Epilogue: "The Monster at the End of This Day"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for LJ's "tw100"'s "Challenge #269 - There's a Monster at the end of this...". Domestic cuteness abounds!

A cry echoed from the speaker of the monitor on the bedside table. Jack shifted and nestled deeper into his pillow, while Ianto jerked awake, sitting up.

"Relax, she's just hungry," Jack mumbled.

"You're sure about that?" Ianto asked, already on his feet and pulling on his bathrobe.

"Sure I'm sure," Jack said. "The one who carried the kid always knows. Formula's in the fridge."

"All right, but it's your turn next time."

Jack chuckled, turning onto his side. "Spend the day chasing the scum of the universe, and at the end, there's still one little monster to deal with."


End file.
